Sarcasm can step out of many reasons, mainly from insecurity and high-pressure deadline. When used as a banter, it can enliven the environment which paves the way for more bonding amongst the colleagues. But when it emerges from an insecurity, or as a defense mechanism then it can spoil the mood and create toxicity in the workplace.

Often times you may feel like ignoring the sarcasm and to move on with your work. But if you feel an overwhelming mountain of it from your colleagues for no reason, then you can stand up to them with befitting replies. Ofcourse, the aim is to diffuse the tension by giving humorous response rather than flaming it. In this post we are giving you sarcastic remarks, the likes of which you may hear at your workplace. The responses are jotten down after careful consideration.

Oh superb! I thought you were pretending to be confused!

Its a sarcasm colleagues use when you figure out a solution to a problem after a considering time and energy.

Response : – This is what I do. Confuse the enemy and then strike when they least expect it.

You are helping me out? Hmm. But what’s the catch?

Often when you help someone in the office environment, they always think of the ‘Why’ reason? Colleagues often feel that you are helping them out in the hopes of some favour later on.

Response : – I have heard it increases the bank balance of one’s good will earned through sincerity.

Wow. You have actually finished your work on time this occasion

While you may always complete your work assignment on time, some colleagues might give you such sarcastic remark when you get delayed on rare occasions.

Response: – Well, what to say. I am just as shocked as you are. In anyone wants to commemorate this historic moment, feel free to do it. Autographs session will start in just few hours.

Hey Look! Someone is going out on a date tonight!

Office people might say this to you if you they feel your attire is too informal for the work environment.

Response: – You totally got it right. Its a very exclusive date with pizzas, ice creams, and my Labrador followed by a staring contest with my Cat. You can come to the event as a refree.

Congratulations on becoming the new right hand of the Bosss.

Colleagues keep an eye on each other specially if someone is enjoying a growing proximity to the management, team leader or the Boss. So if your Boss is noticing you more than the usual because of your sincere and hard work, your colleagues are likely to give you such remark.

Response: – Well to be honest, I am expecting an official superhero cape and waiting to be upgraded to “Genius” so that we can plan about World domination right from the seats of our office.

You seems to be our new jack of all trades

Despite showing your knowledge in different domain for the genuine intent to help someone, a colleague may give you such sarcastic remark.

Response: – You mean master of none right? Well, its my hobby to collect skills that are going out of fashion. Next week I plan to reveal my expertise in space travel and underwater farting.

Oh you indeed joined us! I thought we had to send cops to find you

At times you may be late to join a meeting due to genuine reasons however, your office mates would be quick to pounce on you if your late arrival has delayed their schedule even if its just for few minutes.

Response: – I was actually on an undercover mission but thought of quitting it in the midst of the operation so that you guys don’t get delayed.

We are going to name this day after you. What do you say?

Beware of talking about your accomplishment, no matter how big it was. Some people will not like it and will taunt you with such sarcastic remark.

Response:- Great Idea! I expect moment of silence in the honor of my name on this day. National Anthem about my heroices are also welcomed.

Hope your mini-vacation was awesome?

If you take an elongated lunch break or rest, chances are that your colleagues will try to taunt you.

Response: – Well, what can I say. I explored the exotic lands of the cafeteria and managed to get my toes dipped into the Sea of Coffee. Highly recommended! You may as well join me next time.

Were you a positive vending machine in your previous life? You seem to ooze it 24/7

If you are presenting yourself as a positive person all the time, it may appear unnatural and your colleagues will take notice of it. However, if your genuine personality receives such sarcastic remark, then feel free to give a befitting response.

Response: – I think I was. But in this life, I have upgraded to a human and I accept payment only in the form of compliments.