Nothing seems lively than a hilarious response when someone says “What are you looking at?”. Now the asker my be serious about it, and if he is, then you should try to reply with all seriousness, especially if your senior or Boss ask you. However, if it is asked from a subordinate, colleague or a friend, then you can always come up with a funny response. And you should. After all, life without a humor is monotony.

Another scenario is when you are minding your own business and some punk a** comes along and tries to poke you with “What Are you looking at?”. Those scenarios are perfect for throwing a sharp response. While you always want to ensure your safety, there are few responses that can diffiuse the tension. So without further ado, lets begin with the replies.

I don’t know what I am looking at but am certainly listening to an idiot.

I am looking at that thing which is straight in front of my eyes and I don’t know how the hell God messed up so much.

Trying to imagine what it feels like having a million dollars in the bank account.

Watching the atoms and molecules of Oxygen floating and dancing.

Well, just engaged in an intense staring contest with my existential crisis.

I am looking at the future which tells that you are soon going to get kick on your behind by a person in your vicinity.

Reply given to Spouse or Partner

Imagining how it feels to be hit by cooking pan on the head by the spouse. Also wondering the sound it would make when hit with the right spot on the spouse’s head.

I am looking at the electrical switch and feeling grateful for it for allowing electricity to flow through it to multiple devices.

Thinking of how to make the spouse feel ignored without doing so.

Gazing fondly at the fridge, wondering if it will ever reveal its secrets about where the last slice of pizza disappeared to.

Just thinking who becomes the craziest happy whenever the toilet paper seems to run out when I need it the most.

How to Deal in such situation?

It really depends. If you are encountering a situation akin to threat, you can always ask for help from the nearby people. You can even try to escape the eye contact as it may lead to confrontation and physical fight. If we talk about non-threatening and professional scenarios, such as in the case of friends, colleagues or relatives, then you can always come up with a cheeky response depending on the tonality of the asker.

Reply for colleagues and Office Mates

Well, I am truly admiring the complex yet beautiful pattern of pixels on my laptop screen that greets me uninterruptedly 9 hours every day.

No nothing. Just calculating the radar till I have spread my genetics.

Trying to pinpoint the face of the idiot who has stolen my mojo.

Admiring the architectural marvels of the office ceiling. Truly breathtaking, in its own way.

Thinking of the net profit that our boss will get in his bank account this month.

Thinking of counter arguments that Boss would given when I would seek appraisal.

Sarcastic Responses

I was just visualizing myself and appreciating God for the geometry he has been able to give me. Hope you don’t mind.

I am looking at something which am sure has never been understood by the human civilization.

Admiring the molecules of Nitrogen and CO2 that have surrounded you and everyone else.

I am trying to look very busy. I hope it is working.