Whether or not you drink or smoke, it can be akward when someone asks you that in the midst of the conversation. It also depends who is the asker. If you are in a formal gathering, then you may be compelled to reply in a simple and jovial manner, however with colleagues and acquaintances, you can give a funny response to humor the situation.

You also need to gauge the intent of the asker. Some people ask such things in order to find a common ground for socializing. Then, there are others who are genuinely curious about your health. To such, you can always give answers depending on your liking towards them. If someone repulsive to you ask it, then you can simply shoot a sarcastic response too. This post has plenty of such replies. So lets begin with them.

Lets just say that I drink water and tea and occasionally take in some smoke, from the barbecue grill.

I occasionaly drink to forgot how much my girlfriend adores me.

There are occasions when I love to smoke my colleagues out of jealously ofcourse.

Yes a lot, until a better and healthier drug came into my life which is my gorgeous wife.

Yes. I often drink the tears of my enemies. Kidding!

I at times do blow the clouds of smoke when my cooking skills are stretched way out of my league.

I like the touch of the ciggerates more than anything else. So their purpose extends to that only.

I am a big believer in smoking my competition especially when it comes to debating.

I am a connoisseur of fine H2O and fresh air. They say it’s free of cost.

Alcohol and smoke are like the hookers. They give temporary satisfaction but permanent joy comes from being sober only: – Use this reply only on acquaintances.

My favourite pass time includes sipping soda and blowing bubbles.

“I drink… in the sights of nature, and I smoke… the competition in board games!

My smoke producing skills are out of the world especially from my behind.

I drink… in the wisdom of ancient philosophers and the occasional glass of sparkling water.

How to respond when someone says why do you smoke?

Everyone knows that the only logical basis of smoking lies in addiction but people would still ask this question. And since, the asker is already aware that smoking is an addiction, therefore it makes sense to give him a unconventional and funny answer. You could say the following.

Because they are offered for free to me.

The lungs also need some work for the day isn’t it!

Because I get lots of blessings from the Alcohol industry for being their loyal customer.

They are the gatekeepers of my dopamine.

I smoke so I can have deep conversations with the smoke alarm when it goes off.