The act of micro-cheating may have always existed throughout history however it has gotten its term in recent years only. Micro-cheating is simply liking or having emotional attachment or feelings for someone discreetly outside the relationship.
While there may not be stats on how much micro-cheating has increased in the recent years but one thing cannot be dismissed that the evolution of social media apps like Instagram and TikTok have allowed more and more people to become connected, even when its not necessary or needed.
An Indian Relationship coach recently shared his views on why micro-cheating is causing trust issues. Before sharing our perspective on that statement, let us explain to you what micro-cheating exactly is and what are some common forms of it.
Understanding Micro-cheating and Common Forms of it
Micro-cheating is a series of small, often secretive behaviors that although do not fall into physical infidelity but signals openess and emotional availability to people outside the committed relationship. The openess and emotional availability has the potential to transform into infidility.
Discretion is the key characterstic of micro-cheating. Consider a scenario when an engaged woman intentionally goes out for a solo trip without wearing her ring. Although this subtle act may not fall into cheating however, the woman may very well be aware that doing so may invite attention from other men. Such subtle behaviours and actions often leads to trust issues if the relationship partner comes to know about it unintentionally or intentionally.
Some of the other common forms of Micro-cheating are
Maintaining a Secret Dating App Profile : – If we talk about monogamous relationships, the act of having a secret dating profile indicates openess to emotional availability outside of the relationship for the purpose of sexual intimacy. This act however may not bothering if both people are in open relationship or one party has allowed the other to be pursue others for sexual gratification or simply for attention.
Liking or Commenting Excessively on Someone’s Posts: – Frequent engagement with another person’s selfies or posts especially in a flirtatious or overly enthusiastic manner.
Flirtatious Texting or Messaging: – While this act may not be exactly labelled as infidility, however doing so discreetly is micro-cheating.
Is Micro-Cheating Good or Bad?
As we said earlier, micro-cheating may be acceptable in polayamourous relationships however identifying it may be far from easy. Usually, it causes problems if two people have committed to a monogamous relationship.
But as Dr. Martin Graff wrote in Psychology Today that the activity on social media is so ambigious these days that its hard to decipher the actual intent when your partner has likened someone’s post on social media Ref..
Indian Relationship coach explains How Fear of Micro-cheating is eroding Trust
Vikas Chaudhary, an Indian relationship coach has recently voiced his opinion on micro-cheating. While speaking to MensXP, Chaudhary emphasizes that the talks around micro-cheating should ideally be discussed in the earliest stages especially if two people are entering in the arrange marriage set up.
“For people who are looking to date or entering into arrange marriage, it is extremely important for them to communicate the boundaries with other people that they want their partner to maintain after marriage.” Chaudhary says in the MenXP Podcast.
Chaudhary also explains that transparency is often misunderstood for lack of trust. As per him, an individual may feel his space invaded if his (her) partner compels him to be more transparent so that there is less likelihood of micro-cheating happening in relationship. But that is where it gets tricky.
Asking for more transparency may be perceived as lack of trust by the other partner. The Relationship coach opines that such conflicts often cause unnecessary issues between the partners even where there is no real problem existing between them.
As per him, asking for more transparency shouldn’t be perceived as lack of trust and that couples should incorporate it for a sustainable relationship.
